Sweet Video of Faith

*Before viewing this...over to the left is my music playlist. Click the pause button because my Dad already added music to the video and it doesn't line up right!*** This is a precious little video of some pictures my Dad took of Faith yesterday! I love that the photos capture so much of her true personality...even the one where she has this little stubborn sassy look on her face. And we alllll know she can be a little sassy and a little stubborn at times. But, she is a beautiful little thing, with a one of a kind personality....and these pictures show it! Love to all, J

A prayer for a friend........

This morning I write with a heavy heart.........I have spoke about my friend many times on my blog...you all should know her by now. My friend Tracy, who lost her baby a summer ago....Nash was 6 months old and died from an undiagnosed heart condition. Today Nash would have been two years old. Two years old.....somehow, someway....by God's grace alone...I am confident in assuming....my friend Tracy has gotten up each day and tried to live life without her baby. I know that her 3yr old son, Tate makes that feat a little easier but.....I am still in awe of her every single moment. The pain, the loss...the heartache and anger, sadness and confusion are unimaginable to me. I wrote her this morning to let her know that she was of course on my mind, in my thoughts and prayers today....everyday. Those words seem so inadequate to me....I sometimes don't know what to say...and even if I feel like I know what to say...its hard believing that it really makes a difference.

She continues to amaze me, inspire me and humble me. I sit with so many healthy babies .....I hope my life, my love and my parenting reflects how I cherish them and appreciate the gift of them.

Tracy is weeks away from welcoming her third child into the world and feeling a little anxious about this baby and his/her health. Everything is checking out fine but, having had 5 babies...I always find myself just a little anxious at the end as well. I would assume that with what she has experienced feeling even more than a little anxious is more than normal. I would ask you all a couple of things....to remember Nash today for my friend, even if its just for a moment. It is so very important to her to know that he is remembered by us. The second, is to please say a prayer for her to have some peace as she welcomes their new baby. I want her to be able to breathe and enjoy this new miracle without being anxious.
Thank you all, this means a great deal to me!

Love to all,
J

I must have blinked......

Today my baby turned 11 years old!! I sit across the table from him and wonder where all the time went. How could he be this big already??? I have realized over the last few months that the little boy who sang the Thomas the Train theme song over and over while lining and organizing all "his guys" and the boy who always bit his fingers while chomping down on his McDonald's french fries and then would burst into tears.... might just be growing up. Maybe it was the need to purchase the deoderant, axe and clearasil.....or the size MENS 7 shoes???
I miss the view from my rear view mirror of his little legs bobbing up and down while he sings his favorite songs. I miss his Willy Wonka impressions and his reinactment of Seussical Musical and Horton hears a Who....quite a gentlemen of the theatre he was....
For a moment I get a pit in my stomach that maybe I missed something from these first years of his life...it went by so fast. But, then when I sat down to write this....it is true, it went by WAY to fast...but, I remember every minute of this precious child's life. My first, my perfectionist, my organizer and helper. My buddy, my sweetie...and the first boy to show me that I could be a boy Mom....and love it more than life itself.
I hate that he has grown up so much but, love who he who he is growing up to be....
Hunter is responsible and smart. He has pride in his work and in himself. He has a gift for the elderly and a heart to follow the gift. He is compassionate and patient and as tender hearted as they come. He has not grown so big that he will not sit on my lap or is embarrassed to kiss or hug me in front of his friends. Thank goodness because that phase will kill me.
So my sweet Hunter, Happy Birthday! You can only know when you become a father yourself the love that I felt for you before I ever laid eyes on you and the total joy that came over me when at last I finally did. I wish I could explain it to you...the joy, the fear, the love, the total fullfillment...the little moments that literally take the breath from your chest....but, then if I could...it would deprive you of that someday.

You have brought total joy to my life and made me wonder what I ever did before I had you. You have changed every fiber of my being...having you has made me a better woman, mother, christian, person...you have nourished my mind, soul and my heart beyond measure. I watched you change your father from a wonderful man into an amazing father with one smile.
I secretly loved that you liked me to hold you the best. I loved the way you would wrap your bottom lip around your pappy and how you loved your blankie.
I love watching tv with you and hearing you laugh out loud. I love how excited you can get watching a football game or winning a basketball game. I love the way you sing and have a heart for the Lord. I love your passion for life and for others. Thank you for all the joy and giggles and priceless memories you have filled my mind and my heart with.... I am proud of you and love that I can call you our son.
These pre-teen years might prove to be a little challenging...and I am soooo not ready to see you grow up.....but, I know it must come sooner or later. And wow...why did it have to be sooner??? Challenging as they may be...I am blessed by you...we are blessed by you. Your siblings are better children because of the love you give and example you are to them.
I knew on December 29th that your Father and I were blessed.....I just had no idea what a miracle you would be!
I love you baby, Happy Birthday!
Mom

Love to all,
J

Merry, Bright, White....and over!

Christmas Eve was one of my first real days of feeling like myself again. I had most of my energy back and the pain was about gone. And the first order of business was to visit Santa one more time. I had taken Faith to the mall earlier but, she had a really bad cold and she is very convicted in "not getting her friends at school or Santa" sick...so we said we would wait. December 23rd rolled around and she pops up and says..."Mommy, you never did take me back to sit with Santa"....ughhhh...I thought. How could I have let that go??? It was a must do! So, Bo and I loaded two cars with our kids and Hunter's friend Chico hoping to arrive at the mall right when they opened and zoom in and out.....wrong my friend. We waited nearly two hours but, you could tell by the sparkle in her eye and the skip in her step after she hopped off Santa's lap...it was well worth the wait. Oh, to be three and the magic of Santa! The boys see the magic too....they just worry about who else saw their Mom making the sit on Santa's lap....but, I could tell they were glad I did!

We left the mall to find a chilly afternoon brewing with some rain...that quickly turned to snow ....and it snowed and snowed. We couldn't believe it! It started to stick and accumulate. The kids were thrilled! Could it be that we would have a white Christmas....indeed it would!



(Faith after I gave the 5min warning to come in the house)





Okay...stay with me....I am feeling that this could get lengthy!!!!
In keeping with our tradition...the kids each shop for each other on Christmas Eve and get to open each other's gifts. The gifts were not important but, look at them.


And we did wake to a white, white Christmas! The kids tore through their gifts in record time and once again...Santa was very good to our kids and they had a wonderful Christmas with their whole family! And so did I.... my husband got me a MAC computer, which is exciting..although I have to say I am not much of an apple person but, I am very excited at the prospect of it making my year booking life easier and having alot more options with my photos.He also gave me a years worth of one on one sessions with an Apple rep. so that I can get to know my new computer! I love that idea because I am a little afraid of this MAC, I think.

This year seemed a little different to me...I think with me being sick and being forced to slow down and rest and heal it seemed a little less rushed and a little more peaceful. I made myself feel okay about it will be what it will be....because I didn't have the energy to make myself crazy to make things perfect. And yet the funny thing is....it was perfect!

Bo and I decided that I would stay home from church this year with Halle and he joined James and Sarah and their kids for church on Christmas Eve. While they were gone I listened to my Christmas carols and cleaned up the house to prepare for the mess that was about to come. It was nice to be home but, I really felt I missed something huge by not being at Church. The Christmas Eve service is something I have always loved. I love the songs, the closeness and the humility that we all seem to share while listening to the story of how that sweet baby was born and what He would mean for us. It is a time that I seem to be able to check all distractions at the door and though I have heard the story over and over I listen so closely as to not miss a word of it. I love to watch my children's faces and to listen to them sing and watch as Hunter tries to contain himself from breaking out into and all out boogie because his heart is so full! And of course the candle lighting...can you imagine our crew with open flames and hot wax..ughhh. It is usually just Bo and I and it is quite a job making sure that our kids don't light each other or the lady sitting next to them dress or hair on fire. So far so good! But, I missed that this year. The wonder and awe on their faces...I was jealous Bo was there with them and I was home with sweet little Halle.
I have always loved Christmas carols and in recent years have wondered why they are exclusive to the month of December. I mean shouldn't we be professing joy to the world that the Lord has come everyday? A few years ago Toby Keith came out with a Christmas CD...the boys and I particularly love. His version of Go Tell It on the Mountain is one of our favorites ... We sing it every time we are in the car. Not just at Christmas but, almost everyday!!I will tell ya...I sometimes lose my breath when we have that song cranked up loud and I look in my rear view mirror to see them all shouting out that tune..."Go tell it on the mountain...that Jesus Christ is born" and I know that even though I have told them the story repeatedly....when they sing this song...they know it...they feel it...it is in their hearts. A couple of weeks ago Faith and I went to pick up pizza...she wanted to hear that song on the way there and the way back! When we pulled in the driveway all three boys were playing basketball and Faith rolled down her window...the boys shouted out.."don't turn your car off Mom, let us sing the song"...Faith and I sat in the car and watched my boys dribble basketballs and jump around on the driveway and Faith in the car shouting at the top of their lungs ...Go tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born..." I cannot describe the feeling...the peace...that I knew...my children get it! And they have a heart for Him.

While the MAC was wonderful.....my true gifts weren't wrapped and couldn't be found under the tree. My true gifts are that baby we should be shouting from the mountains about....my husband, these amazing 5 little people given to us, our extraordinary family, my irreplaceable neighbors, the opportunity to experience real friendships with my girlfriends and many more things. As Halle and I sang those Christmas carols that I love so much...I had to make sure that HE knew that I recognized His sacrifices for me and my gratitude for my many many blessings. And then that sweet little baby would smile so big at me...as though she might bust wide open...and that familiar humbled, wonder and awe came over me... And although she is so small...I could see it in her face too.

I have just about everything I have ever wanted and then some...which brings me to a not so happy place. The place of thinking of my sweet friend who lost her 6 month old baby boy a year and a half ago. Praise God she is pregnant again and expecting her baby in a couple months but, that doesn't make her miss her little Nash any less. I peer into the eyes of my little Halle and feel sick to think that if it could happen to Tracy...it could happen to anyone. And find myself right back at why? What is the purpose? Why did He give him to her in the first place...only to take him away? It's hard to need those answers and not be able to get them...at least not for a long time. And so, sitting there with Halle in our house all alone...I thought of my sweet friends and of their boys...Tate and Nash and this miracle on the way....and again...I am humbled. And I think....Go Tell It On The Mountain...that Jesus Christ is Born..and hold dear what we know....because if things had been different...then we would not have the peace of knowing that Nash is experiencing his joy in heaven. And so my dear friends and family....please think of my friend and her family....pray prayers of comfort, healing and peace as she prepares to welcome a new miracle into their family. I worry for her...I want her to be able to enjoy this new baby and not be consumed with worry...with fear...of the unexpected!

Ahhh....you have reached the end....
So in closing...I hope that you are well and that you had a moment to experience the joy and the wonder and that perhaps at some point we will all have the courage to Go Tell It On The Mountain!!!!

With all the noise and chaos...here's how sweet Halle enjoyed her Christmas morning!



Love to all,
J

ps...Our Christmas cards will be on the way shortly....I got that uploaded on the 24th......glad I included the Happy New Year sentiment!!! ;)

Shingle Bells, Shingle Bells.........

I actually don't find my title to be too amusing but, my Aunt was sweet enough to text me that last week......she explained that she just couldn't resist and felt badly...but, it had to be said....and knowing that she loves me enormously....I believe her. Now.....I can see the humor!
Anyway, got home from Vegas on Friday...had sports, science fair logbooks, school, etc. I had begun to tackle my mountain of shopping but, was still in a little panic over our kids. Hunter was the only one at this point that had made his list to Santa and it only contained 5 items. With 5 items for Santa...I wasn't sure what would be left for us to get him. And the others had not even begun. We planned to take the Christmas card photo on Tuesday night, I needed to burn 5 "winter" songs cd for the Kindergarten party, order balloons, get paper plates, goody cups, and come up with a craft for Faith's party. I needed to buy my contributions/donations for Chandler an Hunter's parties, teacher gifts, shop for our foster children we adopted and try to decorate my house....those were just a few things. All the while I was having an unusual pain in my hip and left leg...I brushed it off and kept on motoring until things progressed to a point on Wednesday night that I could no longer ignore. Blisters everywhere. What in the world I thought....and I would soon find out that I had shingles! Too young to have shingles you say??? Apparently not! According to the ER Dr. ....young, yes...but, getting more and more common among exhausted, overstressed Moms! Wow!!! I went on to have a week of something I have never in my life imagined. I managed to drag myself to the parties and somehow survived until the kids noon dismissal. It was a long week but, I have finally healed and hoping that I can keep it from ever happening again!I have been told that means saying "No" once in a while and asking for help...hmmmmm...I'lllll try!

And all I can say is....thank goodness for Amazon and Santa!

Oh, and just an added bit of fun for us last week...both of our cars were side swiped out in front of our house at night...and the driver was kind of enough to leave without a note! Fun, Fun, Fun!!!!

Love to all,
J

The weeks leading up til now.......

If it's not one thing...its another. It has been a wild couple weeks. Bo and I flew to Vegas a couple weekends ago for his brother Jame's 50th birthday. My 3rd trip without our children in 11yrs....not something I do well. Not to mention the fact that it was two weeks before Christmas and I played major roles in Faith and Westons Christmas parties the next week, as well as wanting to photograph all grade levels for the school yearbook. I had not purchased one gift as of yet, had not photographed our kids or ordered Christmas cards, my children had not even made a list for Santa... I had not decorated my house sufficiently and had a yearbook deadline. BUT, I picked myself up by my boot straps packed my bags, kissed my babies goodbye and boarded my plane to Vegas. It was difficult but, I love my brother in law so much and knew that I wanted to be a part of his celebration.
Bo had to deal with my "traveling w/out our kids blues" for about 24hours and then I was able to relax a little and enjoy myself. I had checked in with the kids a number of times and all was well.....actually, all was "awesome" they were with their Grandparents.


We had a great couple days on the trip and were headed home....but, not without incident.....you see it would seem that my memory is not as great as I thought(perhaps I should phrase it that is is much worse than I thought) and as we arrived at the Las Vegas Airport on a Friday morning...we discovered that our "noon" flight was in fact at 11:10 and we had three minutes to check our bags, get through security and board the plane.....as you may have concluded....we didn't make it! Things were a little bumpy between Bo and I for a little bit! In fact, I was anxiously awaiting the point at which Bo would be no longer speaking to me....
We were able to catch the next flight and made it home just a couple hours later. There is nothing quite like coming back to our kids! There are so many other lives I could have had.......so glad I have mine!

Happy Birthday Jameo!!! We love you tons!!!!
Love to all,
J

Thanksgiving.....

Things that come to mind when thinking of Thanksgiving are turkey, stuffing, gravy, clothes that are too tight, naps,time with family etc. But, as with many holidays...does the focus of the true meaning of the day get lost in the shuffle? I am as guilty as the rest and I would say for sure it does. Every day is busy for me and the holidays are busier, and that means that we rush here and there...throw down some food and then onto the next thing. I hate that. I don't like that life takes over and that we hurry through things that should be savored, cherished and remembered.
I feel badly that maybe my day didn't reflect how truly thankful I am ...for everything. I know that in the quiet of my room at night that I am careful to remember all my blessings when I am in prayer...but, do I show that I am thankful? Sometimes I am not sure. I know that my rushing, stress, and sometimes short temper don't show that I am thankful...that bothers me. It seems that I always think...next year I am going to do a better job at showing that I am thankful....
This year we went around the table at my Mom's and listed 10 things that we were thankful for....10 things that perhaps we don't always mention...10 things that we don't just like but, that we love....It was amazing that the kids right down to Faith had little to no problem rattling off their 10 things....I will share with you a few of them.
Hunter's were: Sunny Spring Days, Basketball, "steak, pork chops, ribs and things of that nature" (gotta love him), smell of clean babies, times to myself alone, the privilege to stay up late, God
Chandler's were: Trips to Texas Tech, horses, Dr. Pepper, Steak, Papa's Airplanes, Cold days and Snow
Weston's were: Brinker Elementary, Elephant & Hippo(his favorite stuffed animals),Golfing with Dad, God and Teachers
Faith's were: RV Trips, Her pappy and blanky, sleeping in Mom and Dad's bed, Grandma's baby doll, the song Jesus is Mine, chocolate chip cookies and shoes (100% true and all on her own)(I thought it was cute, it scared Bo):)
Bo and I didn't feel like we could begin our list without placing our 5 amazing miracles at the top. We knew that they were "big" things and that we are regularly thankful for them...but, still it didn't feel right to put them anywhere else but at the top of our lists. Followed by the children a few of the items on our combined lists were our health, irreplaceable neighbors, sonic ice and diet coke,girlfriends to giggle with, having a job at a time when many don't, hearing my kids laugh, Family Vacations,our big family, long eyelashes and things that are pink. Again...these were random things from mine and Bo's lists....he wouldn't want any of you thinking that the pink or the girlfriend things were related to him. :) I personally felt like my list could go on and on...I am repeatedly thankful for the big things...but, there are so many small things for which I am HUGELY thankful. I hope my gratitude is not a hidden secret, I hope that people who know me best know that I am and the ones who don't....still see it. I know I could do a better job and I have once again added that to my list of things to work on....and hopefully one day I will get there.
I will say this.....I was so impressed by so many of the things on our children's list...so many of them so simple and yet so profound for their ages. It seems that even with our unintentional indulgences...our children still appreciate the small simple things in life....and for that I am thankful........

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and had many things for which you are truly thankful.

Love to all,
J

"Mom, Can you me bring my knitting?"

Not sure that I ever thought I would hear that in my house....at least not until the girls got older. Well, the moment arrived a little earlier than I expected and not really from the child I thought it would be.....
Yesterday the 5th grade had what is called Colonial Days at school. They have been studying the colonies, pilgrims, etc. So, all the kids had to dress up like a person from the Colonial times. Hunter was a pilgrim....The event lasted all day. Volunteers were to be up at school at 7:30am and it went until 2. They rotated classrooms and had different activities that represented the time. I (for once) said "No" to the volunteer opportunity because that seemed like a reeealllly long day to be talking about the Colonial Days....and the Mom's had to be in costume too...that was a major drawback for me. Anyway, I was up there for several hours taking pictures for the yearbook....that was enough for me...and after all....I could never not show up for something involving the kids....
One of the stations in a classroom was knitting....a Mom was able to get a ball of yarn and knitting needles for each child donated from a local shop. That was pretty cool! Anyway, when I arrived up at school...a Mom said to me in passing..."You should see Hunter...he is really taking to the knitting." I didn't really think much about it...and proceeded on with my photographing....a little while later a couple other Mom's made a comment about his knitting again...finally, a fourth Mom said...."Jennifer, you are amazing...how in the world do you find time to knit? To which I replied...."What are you talking about....not only can I not knit...I cannot even sew". She explained that she just assumed that Hunter knew how to knit prior to coming to school yesterday....I gasp...and said..."Oh, yeah...I am teaching my BOYS to knit....what are ya nuts?" "Have you met my husband???" We are only allowed the manliest of manly activities around here....he would never tolerate...knitting....!
The Mom said..."oh wow! well you should see him...so I go in search of him...and there he sat in his classroom with a couple of his friends all hunkered down knitting. His friends were struggling a bit...but, Hunter was motoring through and those needles were just going as fast as they could. I instantly explained to the Mom's giggling and ..."that is sooo cute" over my shoulder that...I could see Hunter's OCD had kicked in...and this was not about the fascination of knitting...but, about a task...a task to be learned and to be completed. He was determined with this...as he is about MANY things...never forgetting to cross of the day of the week on his calendar before he goes to bed, having me respond "sweet dreams" after he says goodnight...EVERY NIGHT, making lists and lists of the current NCAA Football Team rankings....and I could go ON and ON.....the knitting would be no exception. He noticed me there...and held up his work and said..."Mom, I am making a scarf for Halle...."
School let out, we went home and proceeded with the usual after school chaos. Later that night Hunter and I are preparing to watch an episode of Full House...as we do every night (again...OCD) and he is tucked in our bed...I am doing some last minute picking up and I hear him yell out...."Mom, could you please bring me my knitting?" Bo immediately jumps in..."what did he just say?".....I explain the day...and just as I suspected....rolled eyes...and a "gggggggrrrrrreeeeeeaaaattttt, Hunter is knitting" I was tempted to repeat all the banter from the Mothers at school...but, I could see my husband was in pain...and well...he just couldn't handle the truth. I thought about attempting to lower the stress level...I could give him a recap of how many "manly" free throws Hunter made when he was practicing basketball and how far he threw the "manly"football to the kids in their after school game of football!!! But, I could see that Bo had tuned me out was retreating to his happy place...and all would be fine!



Men...gotta love "em....
Love to all,
J

Wild Bear:Wild Runner....Wild Somethin!!!

Weston ...Poor Number 3 as you might have imagined.....somehow he seems to get the short end of the stick...more frequently than not!
But, anyway...last weekend was the long awaited, much anticipated Y-Guides Father/Son Campout.....An honor that one can only enjoy after reaching the ripe old age of 5! Weston has watched and waved at the back door both Hunter and Chandler depart for this coveted weekend of male bonding with their Dad and their friends.
We began talking, planning and packing for this weekend days and days in advance! Weston was pumped, to say the least....that is until Thursday afternoon when I got the dreaded phone call from the school nurse. Weston was on the other end of the phone requesting to come home with a bit of a tummy ache. The day played out and not so much in favor of Weston....it was confirmed...he had the stomach yucks!!! Of course, he about died when he connected two and two and that "TOMORROW IS THE CAMP OUT"????? What will happen, will he go? Will the rest of his friends go? Will they call it off? Needless to say he was bummed with a capital B! We would wait...hoping to implement the 24hr no vomit and fever rule...and as it stood..we would be hitting it down to the wire. So, Friday came and noon rolled around and he was in the clear for the 24hr rule...however, two hours shy of needing to be packed up and on the road...Weston was still rather rag dollish on our playroom floor...not lookin much up for camping. Bo and I and Weston decided that perhaps a 3pm departure would be a little premature and that we would wait until early evening. I got him up and showered...and put a little food in his belly and over the next little while Weston kind of came back to life. He was begging for Chik fil A and we figured that it would be the ultimate tummy test. I fed it to him and he passed the test... Sooooo...off they went. They went down that night...had a beautiful day on Saturday and loads of fun....and all things came crashing down shortly after he inhaled a hot dog! Which I might say were my farewell words to both of the...."whatever you do...don't eat any hot dogs this weekend..." but, what can ya do? A campout and hot dogs just kind of go together....well, at least for everyone...but, Weston. So, about 8pm Bo loaded Weston and all their gear up in the car and headed home. He concluded the campout weekend with all their camping items crammed in the front seat of the car so that Weston could have a comfy bed in the back...(hoping sleep would suspend the throwing up)a speeding ticket and just as they pulled in the garage Weston yacked in the back of his car! Yep....Weston went out with a bang!!! But, as the poor child is throwing up in the garage with his war paint on his face ....he attempts to give me the highlights of his 24hour campout. Tummy yucks and all....this WAS the weekend...he had waited for all these years. And ya know...for that ....I am thankful! He deserved to have a wonderful time!



Love to all,
J