Faiffy Girl Turns 4!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

That title is scary. How in the world??? Where did it go....probably passed during the time that Hunter grew to be 11, Chandler almost 9, Weston 6 and Halle now...7months. Actually, Halle seems exactly as old as she is. I mean...I can hardly believe that she is 7 months but, she has made everyday memorable. But....that is a different blog entry.
So, back to Faith. I can still remember toting that staple hair bow headband in my hospital bag with the pink outfit....which sat right next to the full blue ensamble ....and well, wondering if I would EVER be able to let that pink out of the bag! Finally....the day would come. Our little Faith Anne Feagin....wow! How our lives ....ALL our lives would change. From the pink clothes, hairbows, toys etc...right now to her sparkly shoes and take charge attitude and crying spells. I remember how we all watched her in amazement....even the boys...it was a completely different kind of animal coming into our house.....and that has remained true ever since. Many of you know Faith...and well....I think it is safe to say...there just are not many , in fact, none quite like her. She is unique in every way...right down to her voice. That voice....not sure how to describe it, but I know most would agree they have never heard anything like it before.
The fact that I have loved, loved, loved being a boy Mom really surprised me over the years. It was just not what I had pictured or planned. I honestly NEVER considered that I would be a boy Mom. When I was a girl all my hopes and dreams were fixated on the wonderful things that come with little girls. It was a wonderful thing I have gotten to learn about myself, that I could do and would love the boy thing. And then admittedly, still longing for the girl thing...she came along.
Four years later....forget the boy thing I am wondering if I am capable of doing the "girl thing" TWICE.
I was describing Faith the other day to a friend of mine and I think I said...She is the perfect combination of a girly girl and well....our sons. That sounds awful. But, hey..as everyone says, what did I expect? She has three brothers. And it is true! She has never, not once fought me on wearing a hair bow, pink her is her FAVORITE color, she likes clothes and changes them often, she has a fetish for shoes(preferrebly ones covered in sequins), she loves pinkalicious, Fancy Nancy and Hello kitty. Those are all great things in the way of doing the "girl thing." And then the flip side of that is.....she will fish, camp, dig for roly poly's, wrestle and watch wrestling. (I do not view all of those as good things...just fyi) She will play soccer, golf, shoot hoops, scooter and bike...as long as all her supplies and equipment are PINK of course. She could probably be left to care for, cook for and sufficiently mother all of the boys all on her own. And rest assured that even though she is just starting to write...she would have a complete list in her own doodle that will remind her of everything "news worthy" to report back to me. No problem! Which all of the above leave me with.....what more could I have wanted in a daughter!

There is nothing the chld will not do or try...and if anyone is going ANYWHERE...."she wants to go" and most of the time she doesn't even have a clue where.....she is just going.

The last four years have flown by for me. It has been a blast watching her grow and watching the growth that having her as part of our family has prompted in the boys. They love her like nothing I have ever seen before....well, a little of that is fear....but, there's nothing really wrong with that is there??? I think my brother may have been...ok, ok, maybe still is a little afraid of me. And see...that has all worked out okay! The only thing with that is....what will come when the two of us head down that road of the teenage years.............WOW! Well, you know what? We simply will focus on the four blissful years and keep reporting all the cute and wonderful things she does....and when that time comes....I will come back and read these and I will be SO thankful that I wrote all this to remind me!

Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl! You are such a true delight and cast a ray of sunshine on our family and those you meet everyday!

Here are some things I love about you:

~ your sweet smile.
~ the way you snuggle in my lap.
~your singing.
~our mutual love of pink
~your laugh
~your voice
~the way you rub the tag on your blanky
~how sweet you can be with your brothers and sister
~how seriously you take your big sister role
~your long hair
~watching you eat cereal
~seeing you peak your head around the corner of the stairs in the morning
~your sense of humor
~how you start to cry if you see me cry...I probably shouldn't love that...but, I do.
~the way you take the hands of your friends when they are feeling shy
~that Halle has you for a big sister
~how you love shoes
~that you are mine!


and here are some things that you love at 4...

~reading books with Mommy when all the boys are gone
~riding around in the RV with your Daddy
~you have an obsession with looking in people's cars
~beef jerky (yes, that's right....yuck, beef jerky)
~going to the "wash car"
~the tag on your blanky
~singing
~doing "homework"
~having "sleep overs" with anyone and everyone in our house
~Caillou
~jumping on the trampoline
~eating snow
~2 pieces of gum..not one but, it has to be 2
~roly poly's and lady bugs
~chick fil a
~mango popsicles
~trips to the park
~juicy
~singing
~scaring Nina when she comes to work
~Mattie, Bella and Franky (our dog & doggie friends in the neighborhood.)
~spending time with the Prices
~climbing on anything
~playing school
~BSF
~playdoh
~coffee cake
~dr. pepper

Faith had a Pump It Up Party with her friend Reagan. It was crazy with both groups of friends but, she had a blast. Her cake was amazing...as always..thanks to my friend Ashley who makes them!
Here are some photos of her celebrating her birthday...on several different occasions.

How we love the "Irish"

St. Patricks Day never meant much (well, my Mom always loved it) but, I didn't really love it until we had our little Halle Irish. Now the day and the shamrock has a whole new and special meaning to us! Here are a few pics from the day.Thanks for the inspiration Great Gramma Irish and Gramma Irish......I always frowned upon the idea of having to use the name until I saw this beautiful little girl. It fits her!

Middle School.....Orchestra, Band or Choir

So there I sat...in the gym or cafeteria...I really don't know where I was...but, it was in the middle school...in this HUGE school..listening to all the choices that sat before me....well actually Hunter. There was a team of faculty that told me over and over how wonderful it was there and how exciting next year would be for "me and my middle schooler"! Me and my middles schooler.....???? Who were they talking to? I didn't, couldn't possibly have a child old enough to be entering middle school and I really didn't want to.......how in the world did I even get here. It was hard for me to even listen..in fact, I am not sure I really did. I took a few notes...I got up and rotated throughout the school everytime I heard the chime and did just as I was told...the whole time seeing their lips moving...but, all the while wondering...why am I here....HOW.....am I here.....already. I choked back tears several times...and then felt a little sick to my stomach. When the evening was over...I knew just enough to go home and report the necessary info to Hunter...but, I just could not wrap my arms around this at all. This would be the beginning of a wide range of emotions that still consume me. I burst into tears the next day while running my daily routines...and that has not stopped ....

It seems silly to say where did the years go....we all know that life flies by, our kids grow too quickly....but, wow...I guess I didn't think it could happen to me. I thought that was something the grown ups in my life always said about me. Here I am about to have a middle schooler. I don't want a middle schooler...a new school...a big school....with tons of kids I don't know. I don't want new parents, new friends for Hunter....I want my nice little Elementary School...where I know everyone and they all know me. I want to know what is going on every minute of his day...and I don't want change. I have come to decide that time flying, my babies growing up and change...stink! How did I get to this point???

Everyday I wonder...have I done enough? Did I do it well enough? Does he feel close enough to come to us if he is has a problem or is faced with peer pressure? What will he do? Is he strong enough to stand up to those kids, those issues? Why does he have to see what's out there...there isn't much that is all that great anyway. I cannot answer all these questions...and I will have to hope and pray....lots of praying on all of these. I DO know...that he is smart, strong and we have done a good job thus far. I know that there are very few times that I am not proud of his choices, words and behavior. I know that I like his friends and that I am pleased with who he surrounds himself with and the things they bring out in one another.I know that I will get to know his new friends and hope that he clings to the old ones. I will continue to pry, snoop and beg parents to keep me informed of any scoop they know about Hunter. I know that I am scared to death to raise him as well as my other babies in this world that I think is pretty messed up and scary but, I will do my best and pray!!!
I know that I will likely....just like many other Mother's continue to cry daily about my baby growing up. I know it doesn't help but, it does make me feel better. I know that parenting Hunter as he grows up looks a little different than what I have done in the past and that is a challenge for me. I want him to communicate with me and know that even though my answer may still be "no"...things are open for discussion... I want him to respect me as his Mother but, keep me close as he does his friends. I will cringe when I tell him that "one day he WILL understand and that I am really not stupid"....oh, I hated when my parents said that to me. That I will be there to wipe his tears when disappointments strike and be the first one to celebrate his sucesses.
And most of all...I will love him no matter what!

I wonder if he knows how scared I am? I wonder if he knows I want to scoop him up and rewind the last 11 years and start over. That I already realize where I went wrong...and things I would do differently...there are not that many but, there are some. I wonder if he knows that even though I am hard on him and have high expectations for him ...that I look around him and that I do see what an exceptional human being he is...and that I am so very proud of him!

Ahhhh.....my baby boy....a middle schooler.....who has signed up to play the trumpet in the band at Renner Middle School.

Love to all,
J

Mother's Day

I will just start with most recent. Yesterday was Mother's Day and work my way back....it seems a little less overwhelming to do it that way.

So, Mother's Day....sadly, I am finding that my life has taken a turn to the point of non-stop bop. I am not sure if it was the 5th child entering our lives....the ages that they are all growing to be and all that comes with that such as school work, activities or just run of the mill daily happenings....and there are many of those....but, it seems that finding time just to turn around is challenging. So much so that I was faced with this weekend not even sure how or where to find the time to honor the Mother's in our lives and if I could get that figured out...would there be any time for me? Honestly, I do not worry much about finding time for me but, I did have the thought that I do want my children to realize the importance of honoring not just their Mother...but, lets face it...my boys will one day have wives and they will be my grand children's Mothers and along with that comes Mother in Law's....oh that's strange but, the point is that my prayer is that they have learned by us to honor them appropriately and adequately. While having these thoughts...it brought me back to my own Mother who always takes the focus off her and makes it easy on me....her response to what would you like to do on Mother's Day was..." It doesn't matter...we don't have to do anything....why don't you just enjoy YOUR day"......which to be honest...sounded heavenly...BUT, when the day rolled around and we were juggling sporting events and getting to this place and that....it just really seemed like.....we blew it off. All day that bothered me. It bothered me that even though my Mom was allowing me MY day...which often gets lost in the shuffle by the time we do something for Bo's Mom and my Mom...there is little time set apart to celebrate me being a Mother.....it just didn't seem right that the day would go without that special time for her. It seemed odd that my time with her all day was spent at Hunter's basketball game like many other hours on many other Sunday's.

We decided to dedicate another time to celebrate Mother's Day but, in the mean time....it only seems fair that she would at least get a blog entry. I suppose it means that even when your Daughter's a Mother...you are still making sacrafices and you are still concerned for her happiness above your own....

So, to my Mother.....thank you for always trying to ease my burden even when you might want to be selfish. Thank you for offering to celebrate me at the expense of us not getting together to celebrate you. For all the years of sacrifices and putting me first, many times doing so without even getting a thank you from me. I am thankful for that Motherly ability to know that your children are grateful, may have forgotten to say it....and most of the time...being okay with it. Thank you for the Motherly example that you have set for me so that I could be the Mother that I am to my children. It is my hope that I make you proud. For all the words of encouragement and praise you give me.....to let me know that I accomplish that hope. I hope you realize the blessing I consider you to be as my Mother and the Grandmother to our children. What an amazing women they have to look up to as they grow up......and how they enjoy every minute with you while they are young. The memories you have made with them and the things that you have taught them and the contributions that you have made in molding them to be better little people, I am thankful for everyday. The support and help that you have given me through the journey thus far of raising these 5 amazing children, ....I could not even begin to put into words the magnitude of appreciation and how I am abundantly blessed. I am not sure what makes me more proud....to call you my Mother or our children's Grandmother. How fortunate I am ....to be able to say both.

Please know that while it may be in the quiet when I lay my head down at night or in the chaos of my day....there are definite times that I stop to celebrate you and the fact that you are my Mother.

I love you Mom!

Love you all,
~J

I am baaaackkkk.....

Hello my patient blog readers. I am happy to say that I am back. Most of you that are local know that I have been tirelessly working on completing the Elementary School Yearbook. A huge undertaking that I take great pleasure in creating but, this year it consumed the last month of my life. It is done and published and I only hope it turns out showing the love and hours upon hours of effort I put into it. We shall see. The time I click publish and when it hits my hands is a wee bit nerve wracking...but, it is done...so no point in spending time worrying over it. I have been heard saying the last few days that I am awake from my Yearbook Coma....I literally have found that I have missed many things because of my tunnel vision. I must say...it is nice to be awake.

Alot has happened since I have been gone. I will work now to attempt to update you on all the important things happening with the children.

Looking forward to updating you all.

Love to all,
~J