Merry, Bright, White....and over!

Christmas Eve was one of my first real days of feeling like myself again. I had most of my energy back and the pain was about gone. And the first order of business was to visit Santa one more time. I had taken Faith to the mall earlier but, she had a really bad cold and she is very convicted in "not getting her friends at school or Santa" sick...so we said we would wait. December 23rd rolled around and she pops up and says..."Mommy, you never did take me back to sit with Santa"....ughhhh...I thought. How could I have let that go??? It was a must do! So, Bo and I loaded two cars with our kids and Hunter's friend Chico hoping to arrive at the mall right when they opened and zoom in and out.....wrong my friend. We waited nearly two hours but, you could tell by the sparkle in her eye and the skip in her step after she hopped off Santa's lap...it was well worth the wait. Oh, to be three and the magic of Santa! The boys see the magic too....they just worry about who else saw their Mom making the sit on Santa's lap....but, I could tell they were glad I did!

We left the mall to find a chilly afternoon brewing with some rain...that quickly turned to snow ....and it snowed and snowed. We couldn't believe it! It started to stick and accumulate. The kids were thrilled! Could it be that we would have a white Christmas....indeed it would!



(Faith after I gave the 5min warning to come in the house)





Okay...stay with me....I am feeling that this could get lengthy!!!!
In keeping with our tradition...the kids each shop for each other on Christmas Eve and get to open each other's gifts. The gifts were not important but, look at them.


And we did wake to a white, white Christmas! The kids tore through their gifts in record time and once again...Santa was very good to our kids and they had a wonderful Christmas with their whole family! And so did I.... my husband got me a MAC computer, which is exciting..although I have to say I am not much of an apple person but, I am very excited at the prospect of it making my year booking life easier and having alot more options with my photos.He also gave me a years worth of one on one sessions with an Apple rep. so that I can get to know my new computer! I love that idea because I am a little afraid of this MAC, I think.

This year seemed a little different to me...I think with me being sick and being forced to slow down and rest and heal it seemed a little less rushed and a little more peaceful. I made myself feel okay about it will be what it will be....because I didn't have the energy to make myself crazy to make things perfect. And yet the funny thing is....it was perfect!

Bo and I decided that I would stay home from church this year with Halle and he joined James and Sarah and their kids for church on Christmas Eve. While they were gone I listened to my Christmas carols and cleaned up the house to prepare for the mess that was about to come. It was nice to be home but, I really felt I missed something huge by not being at Church. The Christmas Eve service is something I have always loved. I love the songs, the closeness and the humility that we all seem to share while listening to the story of how that sweet baby was born and what He would mean for us. It is a time that I seem to be able to check all distractions at the door and though I have heard the story over and over I listen so closely as to not miss a word of it. I love to watch my children's faces and to listen to them sing and watch as Hunter tries to contain himself from breaking out into and all out boogie because his heart is so full! And of course the candle lighting...can you imagine our crew with open flames and hot wax..ughhh. It is usually just Bo and I and it is quite a job making sure that our kids don't light each other or the lady sitting next to them dress or hair on fire. So far so good! But, I missed that this year. The wonder and awe on their faces...I was jealous Bo was there with them and I was home with sweet little Halle.
I have always loved Christmas carols and in recent years have wondered why they are exclusive to the month of December. I mean shouldn't we be professing joy to the world that the Lord has come everyday? A few years ago Toby Keith came out with a Christmas CD...the boys and I particularly love. His version of Go Tell It on the Mountain is one of our favorites ... We sing it every time we are in the car. Not just at Christmas but, almost everyday!!I will tell ya...I sometimes lose my breath when we have that song cranked up loud and I look in my rear view mirror to see them all shouting out that tune..."Go tell it on the mountain...that Jesus Christ is born" and I know that even though I have told them the story repeatedly....when they sing this song...they know it...they feel it...it is in their hearts. A couple of weeks ago Faith and I went to pick up pizza...she wanted to hear that song on the way there and the way back! When we pulled in the driveway all three boys were playing basketball and Faith rolled down her window...the boys shouted out.."don't turn your car off Mom, let us sing the song"...Faith and I sat in the car and watched my boys dribble basketballs and jump around on the driveway and Faith in the car shouting at the top of their lungs ...Go tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born..." I cannot describe the feeling...the peace...that I knew...my children get it! And they have a heart for Him.

While the MAC was wonderful.....my true gifts weren't wrapped and couldn't be found under the tree. My true gifts are that baby we should be shouting from the mountains about....my husband, these amazing 5 little people given to us, our extraordinary family, my irreplaceable neighbors, the opportunity to experience real friendships with my girlfriends and many more things. As Halle and I sang those Christmas carols that I love so much...I had to make sure that HE knew that I recognized His sacrifices for me and my gratitude for my many many blessings. And then that sweet little baby would smile so big at me...as though she might bust wide open...and that familiar humbled, wonder and awe came over me... And although she is so small...I could see it in her face too.

I have just about everything I have ever wanted and then some...which brings me to a not so happy place. The place of thinking of my sweet friend who lost her 6 month old baby boy a year and a half ago. Praise God she is pregnant again and expecting her baby in a couple months but, that doesn't make her miss her little Nash any less. I peer into the eyes of my little Halle and feel sick to think that if it could happen to Tracy...it could happen to anyone. And find myself right back at why? What is the purpose? Why did He give him to her in the first place...only to take him away? It's hard to need those answers and not be able to get them...at least not for a long time. And so, sitting there with Halle in our house all alone...I thought of my sweet friends and of their boys...Tate and Nash and this miracle on the way....and again...I am humbled. And I think....Go Tell It On The Mountain...that Jesus Christ is Born..and hold dear what we know....because if things had been different...then we would not have the peace of knowing that Nash is experiencing his joy in heaven. And so my dear friends and family....please think of my friend and her family....pray prayers of comfort, healing and peace as she prepares to welcome a new miracle into their family. I worry for her...I want her to be able to enjoy this new baby and not be consumed with worry...with fear...of the unexpected!

Ahhh....you have reached the end....
So in closing...I hope that you are well and that you had a moment to experience the joy and the wonder and that perhaps at some point we will all have the courage to Go Tell It On The Mountain!!!!

With all the noise and chaos...here's how sweet Halle enjoyed her Christmas morning!



Love to all,
J

ps...Our Christmas cards will be on the way shortly....I got that uploaded on the 24th......glad I included the Happy New Year sentiment!!! ;)