When HIS plan is not always "the plan"

I came home from the hospital tonight and was welcomed by the kids with so much love. I could almost see the relief on their faces to see that I was home. The relief that our family could be back together just the way they liked it.They were overjoyed to see Bo and I walk through the door together.

Sarah and James were here with the kids and Sarah's home cooked meal was just what I needed. Sarah read Faith a book and tucked her in and we just got the boys off to bed as well. I am settling back into my own bed and getting my poor swollen feet up for the night.

I have been thinking all day about when the time would come that I would have to leave the hospital and come home....come home without my little girl. Sitting here I have retraced my thoughts over the last few days and how I had planned for nothing that had happened to me and how nothing that I HAD planned came to pass......
Obviously, I have been planning the birth of the baby, but certainly not on August 15th........clearly not by C-section then labor ending in an emergency C-section. I had not planned to not see our baby for a whole day. I hadn't planned for her to be a preemie, anemic or left behind.It has all been emotional and a hassle... And yet, I am constantly presented with a blessing for every item that I had not planned. The first of which was getting the results of the amnio on Friday instead of the Monday or Tuesday like we had been told. We have been told even the few days could have left Halle affected by the anemia to a seriously dangerous level.
The next was my wonderful Doctor who showed me amazing patience and devotion allowing me to cancel my original C-section to attempt to labor on my own....and then his wisdom to call it quits when he did. I find the blessing in being knocked out and not being able to make it to see Halle until many hours later in that Bo had an unusual block of time to bond with out daughter that he normally would not have gotten. To witness his tenderness and paternal instinct with our sweet little girl...when I know he was worried for both of us.
My extended hospital stay has been a wonderful bonding time for Bo and the other kids and they have loved him taking off work and playing Mr. Mom.
I had an extra special blessing of being able to have a night with Hunter and Chandler as they each spent a night at the hospital being my "nurse". There are few things that could be better than being able to be snuggled up with each of them in my generous twin size hospital bed watching a movie. Individual time like that is hard to come by these days.
I have loved the quiet "holding time" that I have had with Halle all by myself within the quiet walls of the hospital.
I have cherished the time that I have been able to sit with my Mom either in silence or uninterrupted chit chat.....something else that is hard to come by with four kids.
And now that I am home....I can see the blessing in being able to devote some of my attention to our other kids who I have dearly missed and whom have missed me without the immediate focus on bringing home the new baby. I want them to know that I am still their same ole Mom. It was good to come home and have a night just like they are used to. I am sad our sweet baby isn't home with us tonight but, I know that she is getting stronger everyday....and it will not be long. I am so thankful for that....but, I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge there were a whole lot of other things that I feel blessed and thankful for.
So, I suppose in the end....I have learned....or been shown....once again....that HIS plan may not look like my own plan.....and obviously turned out to bless me more.

Here is a picture of Halle from today! Hope all you Raiders like it! We took this especially for you Daddy!

Love to All,
J