As the days pass it is becoming harder and harder for me to walk out the door of that NICU without our little girl. In fact the past couple two days I have only been able to leave two of her 5 feedings NOT in tears. I recognize that I am exhausted and the going back and forth, caring for the other kids and the surgery recovery are really taking it out of me. But, there are some silver linings!!! Halle is doing great and her health/blood issues are gone. This is huge and not something I overlook...prayers of thankfulness! I feel overwhelmed by that blessing...especially when I look around that NICU everyday and see what people are dealing with....and what we have left to conquer....which is just feeding. The other silver lining is my time with my husband. Not exactly sure when over the last 10 yrs that we have had two hours three times a day to just be with each other.....really just be together and talk without distractions. Our visits with Halle has provided us with that time. Although we are both exhausted and at times we are nudging each other out of much needed sleep for that early feeding or dragging to that late afternoon feeding after a long day of popping back and forth to the hospital and taking care of the other kids. I have come to love our time to talk or just sit and stare together at our little 5th miracle.
Today Halle seemed very tired with me after just a short bottle feeding with much more of her bottle to go....I know the less she eats...the longer she stays in the NICU....Bo knowing how badly I want her to eat her botle reached over and took her and gently talked and rubbed her head....and was able to get her to drink all but 5ml of her 51ml bottle. I know he is my husband but, I think he is pretty amazing and clearly Halle has already figured it out too.
I am convinced more than ever.....there are blessings in all things...we just have to look for them.
Here are some pictures from our visit with Halle today!
Love to all,
J
1 comment:
Ok I am in tears over your blog. It brings back so many memories about us having Reese at the hospital. It was without a doubt the most stressful time Brian and I have had in our life. We, like you leaned a lot on each other, which we really hadn't done a whole lot of before.
I am so happy to see that Halle is doing so much better. I love seeing how all the kids are so excited about her.
Reese started daycare today. It went pretty good. But, makes me sad a little. I know it will be good to give me some time back to myself. I got home from taking her and realized I'm not sure I have been home without her before. Needless to say after I did get some good stuff accomplished, I went to pick her up early.
I love your blog. I don't even know how you find the time to do it!
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